| Title: | Richard Rothwell, to W. J. G. Allen, Greenisland, Belfast |
|---|---|
| ID | 2356 |
| Collection | Irish Emigration Database |
| File | Rothwell, Richard Sr/32 |
| Year | 1863 |
| Sender | Rothwell, Richard Sr. |
| Sender Gender | male |
| Sender Occupation | unknown |
| Sender Religion | unknown |
| Origin | USA |
| Destination | Belfast, N.Ireland |
| Recipient | Campbell Allen, William J. |
| Recipient Gender | male |
| Relationship | friends |
| Source | D 1558/1/1/257: The Papers of William John Campbell Allen, Deposited by the Late F. D. Campbell Allen Esq., 15 London Road, Harrow-on-the-Hill, Middlesex. |
| Archive | The Public Record Office, N. Ireland |
| Doc. No. | 9905208 |
| Date | 10/05/1863 |
| Partial Date | |
| Doc. Type | LET |
| Log | Document added by LT, 01:06:99. |
| Word Count | 1341 |
| Genre | |
| Note | |
| Transcript | W. J. G. Allen Esquire Fawnorar. Greenisland Belfast Dear Mr Allen To attempt to write to you requires me to buckle my Armour for I know from Rose that you see all my weak points and can be down on me, run me through and leave me prostrate" now the Armour I would put on you shall see through, and see at the sametime that I can see distinctly how I am situated as well as how I may be in a very little time. _ _ __ I made one observation to you this day to the effect that my sight is blunting very much and you met me with a very kind and most gratifying observation, that my picture which you last had from me, bore no traces of my sight failing but on the contrary was liked as much as any I had done, this was one of the most cheering things you could have said for I have ever aimed at fulfilling my duty in any engagement I undertook and I was bound in the most especial way to try to succeed in the portrait of your son therefore it might be said of me that I called "Eyes look your last." my last two sittings with your little fellow was worth all the anxiety I had about the picture for we chimed into each others whims too fun to both us .... but I know that from anxiety or age or whatever cause that my sight has lost its original power and I feel bewildered over a picture, this I keep to myself but the fact stares me in the face ____ now I have failed in life. I have lost my prestige, the pictures of my friend Mr Emery would not bring within hundreds of what he bought them in when he was changing his house some twelve years since, this is a fall for me, then look at my position in the British gallery. My Student which I spent more time than I would willingly mention on is absolutely placed at the top of the room looking like a scare crow. - I was so disheartened at seeing it placed that I felt that it was now time to make an effort in another direction, and this direction you think the most absurd project on my part: but I see no other. - I abhor the affectation of trying to be fine ladies or gentlemen, the effort to be fine without the substantial means is like unto the non-tasteless and inelegant pettycoats [petticoats?] when stripped of its gear is heartten [heathen?] & leaves the wearer to contempt. - I had the courage to go last year to Canada and every day since I returned I have had reason to thank my God that I took those two boys away from the example of the home. I have had to put up with, for alas my eldest boy would have ruined them., now they are living in a simple home where love cheerful obedience and untering [untiring?] industry give a zest to each day, and makes every member of the family proud of each other, there is no quarrelling or discontent because they are not as fine as their neighbours - propriety arising from knowledge and a high perception of what is the duty of each to the other in that family has exhibited to me a home. . - I have none - my word my advice or my instruction is not considered by those in the house in which I sleep - I see nothing but destruction to myself and disgrace to those to whom my children are allied here, and therefore do not think that I am so far astray in wishing for a home where I might live for the sake of living - you must know that my children have no talent ... poor Rosabella that I once loved and watched tenderly is now past all hope of recovery, and poor child her vanity has been encouraged until she thinks it very hard not to have a servant to attend on her, and has been allowed to indulge in a sort of idleness that I look at with painful regret - My wife is the most devoted mother, but strange as it may appear she wants the power to see the first faults in her children, and I fear very much that Franklin by her mistaken misjudged love will give her trouble. .. Rose has not the power to think for herself and as to keeping a school she is just as fit as I am for it is "what will others think," a Master must think for others and be original . - the few pounds that my pictures may bring would be swallowed up here in a season and then I see nothing but the work house - look for a moment at my point of sight and see me in my true light - the Children one and all delicate. Francess who has totally disregarded my instruction with regard to keeping her bed room well aired. I had occasion to go into it once and found the windows closed and some eight flower pots, chrysanthemums which require much air and water shut up in the room and this her good mother thought was the evidence of taste for flowers, it was whim, not judgement. _ because Miss this or that has certain things I am often told it is very hard that they have not. until I am obliged to hide myself. Now not to annoy you much more I would briefly say that if you would not see my views in too ridiculous a light and think for a little on the possibility of my getting around me a cottage home where we might have time to thank God for existence. - my object is to go out and get Mr Bagleys son to come with me for a week to Wisconsin he is a most amiable young man, a first class farmer and [take?] his judgement on some ground in Latitude 43 and if we did not or if he did not think the land good then I should return to Canada where William and Andrew have a farm, for two or three hundred pounds I could establish myself, and then as I grew older if my boys are good and I confess I do hope that the example under which they are living may influence their future lives, and so remove me from shame, they may have a home for poor Rosabella, where she may be able to enjoy the clear air of Heaven. __ Richard is not bad, but he is ungracious, in manner and I cannot contemplate but with pain his future particularly here, if he could have a year with those lads at Mr Bagleys he might be improved if not too late his rude self opinion is the worst thing I see in him, now if it was known to Rose that I have dared to say so much I should be made most uncomfortable. I look at what I was and see him and wish I had never been born. _ a mouth or two will soon run round, and Rose who has given notice that she will change her house, will have fresh work, new bills [etc?] and where is the money, the money that she will spend in one year here would establish a home for her. - I have told her this but I have not ventured to urge it strongly because it might seem to remove her from her father, but now I cannot meet misfortune further _ I might muster by the sale of all my works between three & four hundred pounds _ I know well that I can not again ever hope to have as much and when my confidence is gone all is lost: this is part of my thoughts this day and you will be tired out by Richard Rothwell friday Belfast |
