| Title: | Ernest Cochrane, N.W.T Canada to Kate Finlay Co. Down. |
|---|---|
| ID | 659 |
| Collection | Irish Emigration Database |
| File | Cochrane, Ernest/71 |
| Year | 1898 |
| Sender | Cochrane, Ernest |
| Sender Gender | male |
| Sender Occupation | provost sergeant |
| Sender Religion | unknown |
| Origin | Calgary, Canada |
| Destination | Co. Down, N.Ireland |
| Recipient | Finlay, Kate |
| Recipient Gender | female |
| Relationship | uncle-niece? |
| Source | T3504/1/19: Copied by Courtesy of Mr A.D. Finlay. |
| Archive | The Public Record Office, Northern Ireland. |
| Doc. No. | 9407012 |
| Date | 03/12/1898 |
| Partial Date | |
| Doc. Type | EMG |
| Log | Document added by LT, 01:07:1994. |
| Word Count | 1581 |
| Genre | |
| Note | |
| Transcript | From: Ernest Cochrane The Barracks, Calgary, N.W.T. [North West Territories?] Canada. To Katie Finlay, Willesden, Holywood, County Down, Ireland. December 3rd 98 [1898?] My dearest Katie I cannot tell you how glad I was to get your letter of oct [October?] 29th: and how much good it did me. For just then I wanted a bit of cheering up, as I was not feeling all right. But I am now; & a good deal of the feeling so well, belongs to your credit. All this last Autum [autumn?] we had a lot of sickness. Typhoid struck us. Every one was feeling sickly Some went ot Hospital & are there yet: and, alas, some went out of the Barrack gate on a Gun Carriage to God's Acre on the hill. I had a touch of it was down for 10 days: but as you see by this letter pulled through. There was no accomodation for me in our Hospl [hospital?] here, so I kept my room, with the faithful "pig". A man came with food 3 times a day & had to carry the said Pig down stairs for his meals. Poor little beggar, he would not eat much, and then sat on the side wall outside my quarters & howled till someone let him in! But I never felt better in my life than I do now; & my knee has not given me a twinge for months. Between our selves my health & good spirits are largely due to the thought that a certain little person who is very dear to me, gaining in health & strength. For a large percentage of my thoughts drift her way. And in a quiet, undemonstrative way, I have done a certain amount of fretting. But with your cheering news, Scally is himself again Your description of the necklace is, to say the least of it,- tantilising [tantalising?] But I know who you would like to wear it: and the world and this life of mine, has made me wise, & dreams don't come to me. You have given me your confidence, dear heart: and you seem to have great faith & trust in me. What is your secret is mine; & for the faith and trust, I am not only proud, but deeply grateful. Please never say anything about delay in answering me. As long as I can feel you are in health & happiness, I am content. And I would rather not hear from you, than think, that one letter caused you a moment discomfort; or that you took a few hours from any pleasure to write. I am not the slightest uneasy about your getting selfish. Or, if there was any chance, then you are changed - awfully changed. How nice it is to have so many friends asking after you. I am hoping to hear from John soon. As you say there is no one like him: And I think next to yourself; He claims a lot of regard did not think so highly of me. And place to my credit, [talents?] very foreign to my nature. Don't wish old age on me. I want to clear out with the uniform on. The pension is only a few cents a day, & winding up with that in a strange land gives me a bit of a shiver. Reddys arrest was away back in 87 [1887?] But as that sort of thing comes to us like a day's pay, nothing is thought of it. Not long ago 1 man killed 3 of us before he was caught. What a start in life Bob got: & I wish him all good luck. No, thanks you will never be puzzling yourself over a similar present for me. I am out of that sort of thing: & the girls I have known since I came out here could be counted on one hand, with a finger or too [two?] to spare. I thought I told you about the matron. Well she cordially hated me. She was an awful flirt & as I had a lot of young recruits as escorts, my hands were full, nipping in the bud any attempts at spooning in the Guard Room. In confidence she told several, I was an "old wretch" & neither "heart or feeling" I wont fret if she does not change her mind!! Well if she dislike me, the "pig" paid her out. He simply could not bear her. And all the time she was on duty, used to sit under a guard bed, and glare at her. I want your letters to be all self and nothing but self. Not but I like to hear of your people But in truth its you I want to hear about. You wonder dear, why they were taken and you left. If we look into it, it is Gods all wise law - "the survival of the fittest' He only knows what they were saved. But those who were left had the gifts and the stamina to live in the world. You have a long useful life before you; & I dont despair to see you Dream of a little realm of your own. My dear one, if you only knew all that I have gone through; if you only knew what awfulness of crime and misery, I have had to see and know, you could understand how thoughts of pure, good girls like you three, have & do, do me good Its an honour & a heaven for a man's life to have known you. And if I [told?] all of what I think, you would be I fear, inclined to vanity! A short time ago, a photographer came up to Bks [Barracks?] & without warning the Sergts [Sergeants?] Settled to be taken in a groupe [group?]. The result goes to you by this mail I expect you will recognise me but I will give you a hint, the "pig" is between my feet. That is my working dress. I am the heaviest & oldest man in the crowd and top the others by 3 inches in chest measurement. I need not describe the others, we are no very fast friends: but if you, girl [will?] take a fancy to any of them, fullest particulars will be forwarded by reference!! It is splendid to think how well the boys are getting on. Now [-------?] Now I am not going to lecture you: but what am going to say, I want you to read carefully & act accordingly. I can see by every letter you still think we will meet again. Katie darling we never will. There are reasons upon reasons & all of them good. My old life and I parted, all through fault of mine. that life can never come back to me: & in sober earnest, say - I dont want it to. I am now what I will be to the end - a very humble, insignificant piece in life's machinery. I hope I am, in my way, doing good work for the pay I get: and my officers say the best Provost in he force. Well that is good. I am content. You are really & truly the only friend I have got. The last link with the past. When my people died & I felt for a while the uttterly alone feeling, & my thoughts, as if naturally, turned to you. You have helped me & I know will always have a kind thought fo me. I'd like, oh so much to see you, & not know It would do no good our meeting I dont think I could stand it: The joy would make a fool of me: & I might say or do something, I could be sorry for, & you would not like and I cant afford to have you the only one, think less of me. Women's eyes & instincts are keen & you might, if you saw me, find out something that would cost you pain: and that I have & hope to keep to myself. So dear when your ship comes home & you make for the coast & friends, slip by here. The train passes in the night & so it would be difficult for us to meet if we wanted to. Now that is all - it is for the best. I have lots of comfort, my life is not hard. I have got into a groove: & it would take a lot to fine [find?] me out. Above all I am content. But I would be more so if a certain very loveable little [?] Soon be with us; & I wish you & yours many happy returns. Have a good time & take all the enjoyment you can. Think of me as being all right & content. Dont get absurd notions with that active brain of yours that my life is a sad & lonely one. Far from it. I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for. The work suits me. I am no seer of visions. the present is my all. The past I can look on now quietly; and the "might have" been does not disturb me. i am telling you all this so that you may be happy & not anxious about your old friend. Write when you feel inclined; & believe me dearest Katie that you will always have the honour & love of Your affectionate friend Ernest Cochrane better Known as Scally The pig is staring me out of countenance. I presume he wants to be remembered. |
